Stuck Inside

It’s not because
the threat of COVID19

It’s not because
I’m a natural hermit,
a homebody

I’m not unable

It’s not like
I don’t know how

It’s because I’m frozen.

I’m stuck inside

trapped

I don’t know how
to escape
from the maze
of my own
mind
my own
brain is
working against
my own
heart

How can I even breathe?

This mental block
holds me back
from living,
living to my fullest
potential, living
fearlessly
like how it’s
meant to
be, simply be.

Ok, maybe it is
the virus
maybe it dragged
me deeper,
further down
the rabbit hole

But it can’t be,
this problem
surfaced way
before
the virus even
touched us

I felt trapped
before, and
trapped
after, trapped
still

It’s been an
ongoing
predicament

A dilemma

A headache

I was drowning
I still drown
still feeling
like I’m
gasping
choking on
air

I’m suffocating

The depression
is all too dark

The fear is
all too strong

The panic is
all too chaotic

This feeling is
all
too
real

I can’t deal.

Get out

My mind is,
my mind,
it’s sacred

Treat her well because
without a calm
mind, our minds
overrun by
fear,
panic, and
chaos

So much chaos

Too much darkness

I can’t handle
this

Let me be
free

I’m trapped,
stuck inside.

I’m yearning,
yearning for
freedom

to break free

how i wish
upon that star
for something
real and
true

for the real
me to truly,
truly be
me

to shine
to be weird
to give the world
something to think about
to help the world
heal

to heal
my soul

Maybe it’s a blessing,
one gigantic –
upsetting –
unsettling –
messed up
blessing
in disguise,
always in disguise

Okay, I hear you.
It’s time.

It’s my time.
a time for courage, and
faith, and
trust, and
patience, and
all those
good vibrations
you’ve yearned to
carry
with you, to
share
around you

you are greater than fear

I defeat fear.
For I am strong, and I
believe

&&
you. can. too.

❤ rebeccanne

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