The Hubs and I Split (But, it’s not what you think)

Yep.  I’m in Hong Kong to try out this market for modeling and he’s in Bali, eating, praying, loving.  More so eating than praying.

We decided to go our separate ways for this part of the trip.  Not because we’re having problems.  Not because this first year of marriage is rough.  But because Hong Kong, oh Hong Kong.  It’s a bit expensive, isn’t it?

We don’t know what the future holds.  We don’t know if I’m going to work a lot of not. We played it safe.  Little did we know the likelihood of him finding a job for 3 months here would’ve been higher and easier to obtain. But the trip’s all set. He’s already purchased a few plane tickets and rented a few spaces on Airbnb.  Everything for him is all paid for, why waste it?  Why throw money away, so we end up paying more on a flight ticket to get him out here, more on an apartment for the pair of us, and more on groceries and living expenses? I don’t know which is cheaper, to separate or not to separate.  Either way, what’s done is done and all we need to do next is make the most out of our individual trips.

So, I’m making this next 3 months a solo trip.  I’m not alone half the time though.  I have roommates . . . or 1 roommate and 2 housemates.  It’s been a long time since I’ve lived with other people.  Even longer sleeping on a bunk bed, top bunk.

Staying in the model apartment is another reason why I decided it was best for me to do so.  Modeling is a risky business.  You never know which market you’re going to work in.  Before arriving in HK, I’ve gained the constant support from fellow model friends all saying I’ll do well in HK, but after arriving here, I’m not so sure. But then again, I’ve only been here for about a week and a half. The near future is still uncertain.

Being in a risky business such as this and not knowing when your next job is or if you’ll work a lot to pay off your debt and still earn money is a scary thought. But the fact that, with this risk and with the agency here covering my expenses until I can earn money is more appealing to me than taking money out of my own pocket. So here I am, living a solo adventure with some roommates all on a similar journey as mine, different paths and walks of life, but all connected at this point in our lives.

It also feels very strange because I’m older and . . . married. People are so shocked that I’m a married woman or that I’m already 28 years old.  To be honest, tell me about it, I can’t believe I’m super close to the age 30 already, and it so does not feel like it.  To be honest, when I was younger and heard people say “Age is just a number”, I thought, they are just saying that so they don’t feel too old, but now I’m nearly in the same boat and age is seriously just a number.  I’m the same girl, just older, more mature, wiser, and a better version of myself.  Sure, I’m still working on perfecting the sharp corners around me, but what is perfection?  Nobody is perfect and there’s always room for improvement.  And that’s just that.  I’m working on myself day after day.  Sometimes I hit a few snags and I shoot right back to starting position again and other times I feel like I’m floating on cloud 9 feeling enlightened and most connected to myself.  Of course, I prefer to feel the latter every single day of my life, but those bumps and bruises are what make life life and without those obstacles challenging you to become stronger, life is kinda stale.

So, to regroup, the point of this year-long trip is to:

  1. Travel: Explore like a tourist and Live like a local (Also, the fact that I’ve always wanted to live abroad for a year.)
  2. Model: Test as many markets as I can, while I still can (Thank God for Asian genes & good skin.)
  3. Self: A journey to “find myself”.
    • I’m taking this opportunity to slow down and appreciate the simple life.  I yearn to ground myself and my anxious mind.  I yearn to find a balance in my life.  For my mental, emotional, and physical health.  I aim to find my way back to myself and find joy once again. I want to go back to center.  Love myself from within and let it radiate into my every day life. Essentially, I want to Eat. Pray. Love.  (And I’m just a tad jealous Kevin has the opportunity to do just that.)
  4. Career: To discover my life mission.
    • In the meantime of all this soul-searching, I want to figure out what it is that I am meant to be doing.  I don’t know . . . I don’t think modeling is my key in life, I’d like to model as a career, that would be really cool, but I don’t want to attend castings, I just want to find a spot where I obtain consistent work, I’d like to be well-known in this industry, but not so much aiming to be famous. I want to be unique and irreplaceable.
    • If money was not an issue, I’d love to be a published author.  I’m still pursuing that dream of mine to be the next J.K. Rowling.  I mean, sure the stakes would be pretty steep and it probably wouldn’t happen in the end, but the idea of holding my own book in my hands and multiple copies of it floating around in someone else’s hands brings a certain excitement to my heart. I can just envision it becoming a reality and I’m already thrilled about it.  I’d love to write several books/novels.  I just need to finish one first though. I’m working on my very first novel, the very same story line I imagined when I was in elementary school.  My writing has changed with time, so I’ve had to start fresh from high school, to post undergrad life, and finally now at this stage of my life, 6 years out of college and 10 years out of high school. I don’t think I’ll have any more scratch drafts and will make sure I’ll keep moving forward on the draft I’m currently on.  Hopefully, this one sticks. The goal is to finish at least 5 chapters by the end of this year. I’ll keep you updated on that.  But so far, the last time I wrote in it was when I asked a friend who has absolutely no background in editing, but enjoys writing, read through the first 1.5 chapters and give me a reader’s perspective on things.  So far, she has enjoyed it and gave me a few pointers, now I just need to implement those into the story.
    • Realistically speaking, I enjoy helping people.  So, I have been thinking a lot about becoming a school counselor.  I’ll need to go back to school for that, but I will do that when I return to the States.  This is something I’m not focusing on during my time abroad, and more so somewhere in the back of my mind.

Being in Hong Kong by myself, without the physical support of my husband to rely on for company or delicious home cooked meals will put me to the test. This is where the real challenge begins. The solo in solo trip of finding yourself type journey. Being solo in Hong Kong is completely different from being solo in Thailand back in 2016. I’m older, wiser, and have a better understanding on what makes me tick. I wasn’t on a solo adventure back in 2016. In this moment, I am. I’m on a hunt and I’m searching internally on my likes, dislikes, my life mission, and all the nitty gritty stuff that’s deep into my core. I’m on a mission to free myself and live my best life. Being away from my husband for these next 3 months, although heartbreakingly difficult, is best in this point of my life, like it was meant to be this way. It gives me a chance to fulfill this life mission of mine of exploration and discovery all the while connecting to my inner being and becoming more spiritual. I’m hopeful for good results and I imagine a better me out of this trip, someone who is more loving, brave, patient, kind, independent, stable etc to bring to the table in our marriage and our future together. And this mission includes some kind a fulfilling career that brings me joy while bringing others joy.

But enough about me, for those interested in what my husband is doing . . . he’s currently in Bali until the 8th of October, then onward to Malaysia for 2 months to chill, and within those two months, he’s traveling to Hong Kong to spend our one year anniversary together.  I’m really excited because I’m missing him so much and I want to explore with him. After his two months in Malaysia and after my contract ends in Hong Kong, we are going to reunite in Bali for a month, then off to the Philippines to see my mom.

From there, not sure where we’ll be.  I’m hoping to get signed in the Philippines.  Maybe we’ll be able to stay together at that point before he makes his way back to the States.  His friends are getting married in May, so he’s got to travel back for that.  It’s sad, my cousin is getting married next month and I’m not going to be able to attend because of this.  Thankful my family is so understanding. I’m most likely going to miss our friend’s wedding too though.  Unfortunate, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

That’s all for the update for now.

Peace & Love,

rebeccanne

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