I’m over thinking it. I just need to follow through with the action that is so yearning to break-free. It’s just like acting class, if your body feels like slapping your partner across the face, let it be. It’s only natural and looks more realistic. If you want to step forward instead of backward, don’t stop the feeling, keep the flow of the motion continuous. Follow through with what the body is telling you. It’s in your gut. There’s no need to think too hard. There’s no need to fuss over it. It only causes more anxiety, more nervousness, more hesitation.
Writing and Modeling, they are equals, at least the way I see it in my mind . . . at this exact moment in time . . . well fitted into the life of rebeccanne . . Both an equal passion and both very important in my life. Both something that puts a smile on my face and I’m not talking about a slight smirk, I’m talking about a full blown, eyes lit, teeth shown, smiling ear to ear type of smile. Something that brightens my day just by thinking about it. Something that I get excited about over and over again. Something that puts a certain joy that gives me unlimited amounts of energy to be jumping around dancing to the hit pop song on the radio, not really caring that it’s overplayed because I’m just rockin’ out to the rhythm of my own beat.
I’ve been second guessing the movements. Questioning each action. I’ve been thinking instead of implementing. My work has been incomplete, unfinished. I used to write until there was a conclusion or an idea for what the conclusion would be. I used to write for hours and wouldn’t stop until the constant flow of words rattled in my brain, ‘till the last word that needed to be said was finally written. My current journal consists of multiple half written, not nearly complete little snippets of what I want to talk about, of what I want to remember, of what little inspirational comments that motivates me to continue with whatever it is I’m doing at that certain point in life. Why must it be perfect? Just write a draft for now and fix later? There is no need to be a perfectionist. No one is perfect. Everyone has their own flaws.
Take a step back, away from the chaos. Remember your original intention? Write for you and no one else. Take the pressure away and write how you used to write, even if it makes sense in your mind only. Explain later, writing for you always comes first. Don’t over think, just do.
Never lose sight in what you want to do. Don’t lose faith in the desires you yearn for. Always reach and take that leap to the next level.
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