Somebody, not just anybody

When somebody doesn’t believe in your dreams . . . in your passion . . . in you, of course that’s going to pinch a nerve.  When somebody doesn’t support you in what you choose to do, of course that’s going to hurt.  When somebody thinks you’re not good enough, of course that’ll melt your spirit.

When somebody who is not just anybody, but none other than your own father who scoffs at a proud photo you took, all you can do is shrug it off.  But when that somebody continues to degrade everything you believe in, everything you put your heart into, what can you do?

When that somebody who doesn’t take this newly founded job seriously, there is no way of persuading them otherwise, I mean, how can you?

It’s really hard to be around someone so negative to something I’m so passionate about. It really annoys me because no matter how hard I try, he’s just not going to listen.  It makes me even more angry when he tells people, “this is my daughter, modeling for FREE!”  How dare you!  Then he fake supports on facebook, showing me off to all his buddies in the Philippines and out of state.  And again, turns around at me with the look of disappointment.  How can I bounce back from something like that?

I can write things like this and it won’t matter because his beliefs are so strong.  His pride is so high, that even if I shared this post on FB, he would like it.  But I guarantee you, won’t even know it’s about him.

I’m taking a huge risk posting this, but the chances of him reading this is about 1%.  The chances of someone he knows reading this is about 95%.

Maybe you know him, maybe you don’t.  I don’t hate my dad.  Well, not anymore.  It’s hard to hate him.  And hate is a strong word.  There are many things I love about him.  He’s still a good father, but this one has been a knife to the heart.  A stab to the chest.  Once was a daddy’s girl who I run to for everything, but after all of this, how do I recover?  I’m in pain, and he doesn’t even know it.

If you’re a parent, be sure to listen to your child.  Keep an open heart and open mind.  Try not to be judgmental or look at us with those disappointed eyes of yours, we can sense it and it affects us more than you know.  Allow your child to follow their dreams.  You can guide them, you can help them, you can support them, but don’t say their dreams are worthless.  Be real.  Be there. All we want is for our parents to believe in us.  Is that too much to ask?

So speaking of modeling, I’m really excited for the journey ahead.  Here’s a few photos to lighten the mood:
Photography: Bryan Whitely
MUA/Hair: Kerre

And I posted more on rebeccanne’s world fb page!