If you read my older post about Chasing Happiness, you’ll know where I’m heading with this post. I spent a lot of time and effort dreaming about the day I will be happy instead of simply living in the present, being in the moment, and choosing to be happy right now. I’ve made quite a few self-discoveries about myself: my personal self-journey, living in chronic pain, my fears of the unknown, etc. I’ve spent countless of times thinking and overthinking, planning and planning again, dreaming, but never doing. Allowing room for blame and letting myself be sad and stay sad, be angry and stay angry. I was soaking up the hatred and was growing into a pessimistic person. I hated myself for it. I hated the way I was living. My brain was clouded. I didn’t know what I was living for. Every day was a fog and I was living like a mindless drone . . . living, but not living. I was almost dead inside, with a little piece of me trying to fight it’s way out. I was screaming with no sound escaping my lips. I was running towards things in hopes of reaching something, but I didn’t know what exactly.
I was dreaming of the things I wanted to have: a pain-free life, a successful writing and (international) modeling career. This deep yearning of wanting wasn’t enough to satisfy my needs and I kept facing failure left and right and didn’t understand why. But, I understand now. Living like a zombie, moping around, letting my chronic pain defeat me every day was delaying my plans to succeed.
I don’t want to live in hopes of a better tomorrow. I want to be alive. I have awoken . . . I’m doing. I’m loving. I’m taking action. I’m choosing happiness today. Today is my perfect moment & in this moment, I’m allowing myself to experience gratitude and choose to be happy.
You too can create your story. You too can choose to live in the moment and bask in your own happiness. Find your inner peace and let yourself feel the light. You deserve to bathe in happiness. It starts with today.