New Year, New Me. Part II

E V O L V I N G.

Taking all that I’ve learned about myself to the table and allowing the knowledge that I gain continue to grow. I’m blossoming into the person I’ve been yearning to become.  With this new commitment, I intend to focus more on myself, my well-being, my mind (a more mindful, in the present, optimistic mind), my faith in God, myself, and those closest to me, my chronic pain, my body, and the food I intake, my creations, aspirations, and what I hope to achieve.  This is the time where my life will fall into place, exactly as I mapped it out to be . . . well, not exactly exactly as the world is always moving and a single person can never tell where the world may lead to. But, as far as doing something?  I will start today as opposed to waiting for the “perfect moment” of tomorrow. I’ve spent many years, I’ve wasted every effort of my time, in dream mode.  Always wanting.  Always one step behind everyone else.  Always with that same burning desire to achieve greatness.  However, I tend to not carry out the words that I once spoke and end up having many broken promises, which led to guilt and struggle and beating myself over all the things I didn’t accomplish . . . blaming things and people out of my control, when I know deep down, I am the one at fault.  It’s a learning experience, and I have a lot to learn.  I am still growing.  Evolving.  Transitioning.

I never want to have that feeling of despair again.  The unwanted sensation of standing motionless, in complete standstill while the sea of people swiftly move past me in fast-forward.  I want to scream, but I’m not being heard. The shell that covers me is a thick border that protects me from harm; it’s overpoweringly protective, it’s almost suffocating and here I am trying to crawl myself out.  Trying to escape, while those around me continue to blossom leaving me stranded. Alone & behind.

So, I decided to stop making others my focal point, a pointless distraction, and think about myself.  If that is selfish, so be it.  But my health comes first. I decided for a little bit of me-time and thinking of myself.  Putting my thoughts first and letting my mind speak.  So, I decided.  This is THE year I take action.   Leave my dreams at the door and let my passions drive me forward.  Allowing that fiery spirit to come out of me and let myself shine like never before.

I am growing.  I am evolving. I am transitioning. I am beginning again.

With an evolving mind, I wanted to recreate my space. The place I call home.  My sanctuary.  The root of where all my creativity began.  Write what I know, but now I want my mind to expand and develop into new heights.  I once created this blog to talk about my world and my life, but it turned into an outlet in an only diary-like format, which I tried so hard to not let this become.  I’m creating something new and with something new means a new layout and design.  It’s still being created, but this is only the beginning.  Here I am.  To write about my desires, map out my goals, my life, my struggles, my pain, my hopes to inspire others & motivate others to do the same or live life despite their struggles, to share my own creatives of short stories and poems, and let you in on the secrets to my modeling career.  rebeccannesworld is my world, so I might as well let you in on my journey – – – One hell of a ride~

Days fly by faster than I can plan my tomorrow, so here I am making every day count and doing something that’ll lead me one step closer to where I belong. My life was once chaotic, but now it’s heading in a well thought through kind of path.  Let’s see where this road takes me.

rebeccanne