A part of me secretly hopes my neurologist finds something abnormal, at least it'll explain all the wrong that's been happening to me. I want answers, but also, I don't want things to be too serious to the point of dying a slow and agonizing death. To be completely dark and morbid, and well I... Continue Reading →
D R A I N E D
I don't know about you guys, but 2020 has been exhausting. It has been a trying year for me mentally, emotionally, and physically. Of course, there's been ups during this slow period in all of our lives, but this chronic pain of mine has been draining. As new symptoms surfaced, the amount of pain I've... Continue Reading →
The Truth about Pain
. . . is that it makes you question everything . . . Nothing seems to help. The fear keeps on creeping. Darkness shatters faith. The hole is beginning. You're left standing in the darkness. Thinking. Pondering. Wondering what went wrong. Why is it you that is suffering? Did you deserve this? What's God's big... Continue Reading →
Food. Pain. Me.
When I eat good, I feel good. When I eat poor, I feel poor. Why do I put myself in situations like that just for a small window of instant gratification? Every time I think about my relationship to food, I think of that one Weight Watchers commercial a few years back. Hilarious, yet so... Continue Reading →
Living in Fear
or fearfully living? . . . Ever since my "recent", not so new news or rather . . .diagnose(s), I hit a new level of anxiety. I knew that I will be living in chronic pain for the rest of my life, but Cervical Spine Degeneration Arthritis just tipped me over the edge. Pain is a... Continue Reading →
Life as I Know it
A never-ending cycle that exists as I believe it does. Although the mind a very sensitive place, can be the most important key to point you in the right direction. A clear mind is the best mind. It’s a peace of mind. The beauty within. It strengthens you. Empowers you. Guides you in the direction... Continue Reading →
Pain is my Savior
I guess you can say I’m the girl with the love - hate relationship with the big P. It’s always been my guardian angel . . . a fucking messed up one, in my opinion. Oh, it’s saved me from being quadriplegic and actually, it saved me from a few potential deaths throughout my 26... Continue Reading →
But, Hey! At least, you’re not paralyzed
Time and time again I've gotten my hopes up for the day that pain will no longer be an issue in my life. Maybe something is terribly wrong with me, fingers crossed for some mild, curable brain disease! Because at least with that... it can be fixed. A year ago, I was about 80% aware and... Continue Reading →
rebeccanne's world 