The End of an Era

I thought I’d write a special post dedicated to this particular date.  12/29/2017.  It’s not an anniversary or anything, just an ordinary day. The final marking of this single lived path for a good chunk of time. I’ve been with the company for 5 years.  Straight outta college and right into the working world of my dad’s baby . . . his legacy. Trying to learn as much as I could within the first two years about everything from cooling towers to boilers to corrosion.  All the icky stuff when it comes to water treatment and testing.  I should’ve been a boy like they were hoping for . . . maybe if I were a boy I would’ve enjoyed water treatment more and selling, maybe I would’ve been more hands on like he was. But, I’m perfectly satisfied and quite enjoy being a girl and doing things that don’t require going out in the field and getting my hands dirty – literally – and diagnosing corroding metals and recommending the best treatment.

I tried to help.  I had ideas, but they were never taken seriously.  I had opinions, but I never had a voice.  I was dreading being there with each passing day.  I wanted to leave, I was planning on moving to Japan in 2014 to teach English, heck, I even wanted to leave after I graduated in 2013 to go to China, teach English, continue learning Chinese, gain a few connections, work in China, then return to the states from connecting to those networks I would have created, but they convinced me to stay and help the company, not to mention, there was Kevin – – ok back to Japan in 2014, I was so fed up that Kevin and I were planning to go to Japan for a year to live, he even told half the people in Japan! – But then I got signed to an agency and things shifted.  I enjoyed the flexibility of the job so I could model.  I had somewhat of a stable income and even better was earning extra on the side.  I was doing better mentally too.

But, I was still with the company and I was questioning why I was there.  I didn’t know what I could contribute besides doing the shit work other workers didn’t want to do.  I was satisfied for being able to help out.  I tried to do some blogging for them.  I tried to do some marketing for them, even though I never studied that in school.  I even tried to sell laundry detergent – the one my dad’s partner created and we manufacture in house. But my heart wasn’t in it.  There was no spark that ignited a passion within me to excel to become great.  So I stuck with the things I knew how to do like being an assistant, doing the grunt work, doing basic accounting, being now the only pro at payroll.  I mean don’t get me wrong.  It wasn’t a total waste as I’m making it sound like.  I learned a lot within the past five years, things I could use for myself in the future, things I could use for a future job if I enter in another push paper world, and most importantly, I learned a lot about myself.  I’m grateful to have stayed with the company for that long.  I’m grateful that I was with my dad for those five years.  But now that he has passed, I don’t see myself being here anymore.  I can’t be here anymore.  It’s time for me to stop cruising and start excelling at something I really want to do.

However, I still don’t know for sure what that will be.  Five years out of college and I am still as clueless as I once was.  I have an idea.  I have a passion.  I have a few plans up my sleeve to get by for the first 3 years even.  I mentioned this in a previous post, so I’m not going to repeat myself.  But, if you want to read more, click here: Dear World, pt 2 

Today is Significant.  It marks the end of an era.  And it just so happens to be the end of 2017 as well. Onto new beginnings that’s for sure.

I’ve already cleaned out my desk.  It feels so surreal.  But, I’m not totally gone, there are a few unfinished teachings I need to do for my mom to perfect the art of payroll, until they get the hang of it.  I’m just thankful that’s only 2-3 times a month.

It’s been real.  I love you dad.  Thanks for teaching me things I never expected to learn. Thanks for the company’s experience as a step into the working world.  Thanks to everyone at the company who has been there for several years and making it feel like family.   Thanks for the good, the bad, and the interesting and life investing memories.

Thank You and Good Bye.

to my father’s legacy and the decision for me to step away



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