Distracted

It’s happening again.  I’m trying, but I’m failing.  Writing should come easy to me, shouldn’t it?  I have a lot to discuss.  I want to write about so many different things.  It’s overwhelming.  I’m scatterbrained.  Every new thought is an addition to all the one worded ideas bouncing around in the back of my head.  Hitting each corner of the brain like the entire space is a kid’s bounce house.  It’s unsafe and it’s overcrowded.  The words are ramming into each other causing chaos within my head.  It’s about to explode.  I write and write and yet it leaves off on a tangent; a run-off sentence.  The sentence is incomplete.  The entire sheet is nothing but a sentence.  The blank sheet is dirty with marks and little words.

My thoughts digress and I forget why I’m here.  My motivation is running empty.  I probably need sleep.  My mind needs to reboot.  I need to be away.  In seclusion, perhaps.  I want to be alone.  Let me rest.  Let me think of anything but the everything that is in my head.  Let me focus on one thing at a time.  Let me zoom in on the first thing that pops up in my mind.  Let me write.

All this noise is drowning out the single whisper.  I want to fall back on my roots and just write one thing at a time.  I love writing, but every single piece I’m working on is left unfinished.  I feel incomplete.  I wish to feel whole again.  Let me have a day of clarity.  I need to process my thoughts.  I need to re energize the mind, body, and soul.  My brain is in desperate need to shut down.  Like technology, the power weakens, and it needs to go through it’s own REM cycle in order to reboot.

It’s time to be silent.  It’s time to watch the action happening around me.  It’s time to wait and listen.  It’s time for me to step back, be quiet, and think about myself, my life, and what I plan to do next.  It’s time for me to have a clear mind.  I find out a lot about myself when my mind is free of the chaos, free of the noise, and free of all stresses and thoughts surrounding me. It’s time for my day of clarity.

rebeccanne

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